Tuesday, May 3, 2011

the act out of love.

hi, seriously I don't know where to start. 
just being honest, I've never felt this way for someone for such a long period of time already. 
the only thing that I'm clear of is that, I'm absolutely in love with you. 
I do not know where did this feeling came out from, and I swear it was a relieved somehow. 
I realized so many things that I don't realized before this. 
and I do not know how to describe all these scribble that I have in mind into words. 
let's just say, remember how we used to teringin to have kids?
it's silly when I come to think about it. We've been together for two years already. 
however, only the closest friends knows your existence in my life. cause I've always kept it as a secret. 
just because so that I could just deal it all by myself if something unwanted happens between the two of us. 
the past affected me so much, that made me being careful. 
being careful so that I won't be hurt again, however until this day, you proved me wrong. 
you stood by me even when I throw you tantrums, you still will be there for me. 
to think of it now, you don't deserve all these treatments and insecurity that I have for you. 
and to be thankful and glad on how lucky God send me you.
all the things that you do, I've come to realize I don't want us to even end. 
I now, could imagine us having our own life. 
whenever you bring up the topic of marriage, kids , future , house , cars and etc.
my mind is always telling me, "too early for marriage and kids". 
we are still early for all of this. however ,I've always knew that we talked about it out of random. 
and BAM. something bad happened. I've lost all my trust for you.
and we've not talked about those topics for long already.
I missed it, I miss the early memories of us. 
it's quite surprising that I have a soft spot for you. 
no matter what happened, I can't help it but to go back to you if ever I walked away. 
it's sweet how you could travel from quite a distance to say since the fuel is quite pricey these days (HAHA) just to see me for an hour. 
it's sweet how you kiss my forehead , I felt loved by you. 
I'm quite shy to actually post this up to public
and now I'm thinking of putting it to private (paranoid) 
I miss going out with you, and I'm so sorry that I always reject when you ask me to go out and chill. 
especially on this year Valentine's day. I feel really bad okay. 
and I am sure, many girls out there is dying to go out for a date. 
me on the other hand, took it for granted and rejected it. what a waste of money for reservation,my love :P
you even bought me roses,after that. 
I think I need someone to tell me how lucky I am to have a boyfriend like you. 
also when things goes wrong, you made an effort to make things right. 
oh how I love you baby. 
I don't know how could I ever pay back all the good things that you do for me. 
like sending me to Merdeka Mall to buy pocky (I know, I have huge cravings sometimes) 
Today, you asked me to go to KL with you. 
baby, you know that's quite impossible, maybe not for now. 
you should have avoid questioning me that, because you know 
I would love to,if I could. 
and I hugged you so tight and started to cry. 
I don't cry so easily in front of people. 
you told me you'll miss me when you are there. 
you told me to wait for you to come back. 
you've never left my side before this. 
for this two freaking years, never but only for days .
how could I endure your absence in my life after this? 
I know, I only have to wait for you for a few months to get to see you again. 
I missed seeing you everyday. I missed spending time with you.
distance, I hate distance. 
soon, I'll be here alone. 
I myself know I got my friends here, however 
I will miss getting a kiss on the cheeks by you
I will miss getting a surprise hold hands by you
I will miss getting a hug by you
I will miss the way how you smell so perfectly nice.
I will miss you so much. 

and you are probably the only one that has took my hand and ask me to marry you.
it sweet how when I reminisces the past. 
now my past isn't a bad things after all. 

so much of love
xx. 



can't believe I'm posting this out HAA. 


2 comments:

MeezaAi said...

JOANNA FONG! YOU MADE ME CRY READING THIS POST! SWEET LALU BAH!

Joanna said...

omg, I didn't plan to do that love. huggies :) I miss you :)

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