Where is the good in goodbye?

There's no word can describe the feeling of losing a friend like you. 

Unexpected goodbye hurts the most. 

Until today, I still stare into space thinking about you. 

after split second, I realized you were gone, forever. 

it's goes on over and over again. 

I wish I was strong to go through this. 

but knowing you, I know you don't us to cry over you.

I kept imagining you watching us from afar, 

or just sitting next to us. 

It made me calm even though those were just imaginations. 

and deeply I hope you were, you lovely soul. 

Looking at you like you were sleeping soundly, 

wishful thinking that you'll wake up.

or wishing that it was just a horrible dream.

can anyone of you pinch me now? this is so surreal. 

:(

looking at you, I wish I could tell you the dream that I had months ago about you and the guys. 

sadly, I couldn't tell you personally anymore. 

and I'm sure when I tell you that story, you'll ask me "did you?" accompanying with the laughter that you always do. 

I could pinch you all the way like we always did. and you'll act like it wasn't painful :)

remember those time when I visit you at Sony center? 

the time when you first started working. 

it was like you took me to Sony tour. 

telling me like all the functions of the gadgets. it made me laughed so hard 

and honestly, I was really impressed. ;)

also, how proud am I of you. 

you were also telling me that if when you're working and talking to so-called customer/friends really long, 

your salary will get cut down. 

but me knowing the boss of Sony, you said "nevermind la! it's okay. you know him bah, so he won't potong my gaji" 

and we both just giggled. 

feeling bad, I went over to talk with your boss, asking him

"wahh, josh have to memorize everything ah?" 

you were like so proud that time. haha. 

good times good times. ;) 

I was there at Sony probably for half an hour. quite long for a so called customer who didn't buy anything. :p

even remembered I kinda forced you to finish my ribena. haha. 

it was never a failed to visit you there if I passed by Sony. 

remembered on the last day when I saw you, I passed by there couples of time. 

but you weren't there. 

I went back there again, and I saw you. 

Happily, I was wearing my wedges, slightly taller than I used to. 

you said that I've grown taller but when you knew I was sort of cheating. 

you goes like cheh. hahah. 

Remember the day when you accompanied me to cut my hair? Remember the day when you accompanied me buy the hello kitty sticker? haha. the walks to lutong GK? I still remember you cycle with your bicycle late at night. there's so much Josh, it would take forever to list it all down. 

reminiscing reminiscing. :) 

I just wanted to say thank you for all the memories that we once shared. 

Thank you for being there for me whenever I needed someone to talked to. 

Someone where I can find comfort with, someone where I can share my thoughts without any judgement.

someone who can depend on and call you as my brother. Thank you for the laughter that we had. 

Thank you so much .

Thank you. 

Have a safe journey to Heaven, my friends. 

Rest in Peace. 

You'll be deeply missed, Joshua. <3

I love you.

Yours truly.

Jo.